This letter is the vocalization of an on-going internal monologue I've been having with you for several months now. In just a few hours, there is a liklihood that you will become the next president of the United States. As much as the thought of this possibility enthralls me - typing it in messages to friends sends a shiver up my spine - I am also worried. Worried for you, Senator Obama, worried for us, worried for the future of Hope.
You have brought something special to this country during the presidential campaign. At the beginning of your campaign for the democratic nomination, you electrified young voters like myself who saw much of our own idealism, enthusiasm, tenacity and honesty in you. You used the words "we" and "us" instead of "me" and "I"-- we liked that.
You corralled the hopes of voters across the country by speaking to us, saying "look- I know what you're going through." We were and are, highly cynical - unwilling to saddle our trust on the back of politicians who don't know us, or stand impotent when it comes to creating policies that help our lives, rather than harming them.
But something in your voice, surprisingly deep and even, assured us; something in your smile, accessible and normal, put us at ease. Millions of us have heard you speak, and our hearts lifted a bit when you included us all - blacks, whites, latinos, asians, native americans, straight, gay - in your references to a united america. Your promises haven't felt empty, they felt credible, tangibly so.
And now, as I write this, people across the nation are standing in long lines to cast their ballots. Some for you, some for your rival John McCain. Your supporters awoke to the realization this morning that this could happen. But we can't believe it yet.
I cannot fathom how exhausted you are, or how much more burdened you will soon become if you are indeed elected president. I wonder how long ago you realized what you must take on as president. I know you must see that in asking people to Hope like they haven't before, to believe that change is possible - and we believe it in part because we can tell you believe it - they are also trusting you to lead them to that change, and fulfill that Hope.
We're a nation in economic trouble - people drowning in their bills, their mortgages, their health insurance fees. We're a nation with an international identity problem - countries abroad think we're a bully, an elephant in a china shop. We're a nation of health issues, education issues, financial issues, foreign policy issues - all clamoring for attention and funding and resolution, all equally important. Americans want solutions to these issues, or steps in the right direction at the very least, and if you are elected, they will all look to you.
As much as I hope, as much as I believe, I also fear that hope, because I still wonder how much change can be affected. How much can be done - how long will it take? You sagely warned us all in the closing of this campaign that it won't happen overnight. Clearly you realize our expectations are high and the times increasingly desperate.
So how are you holding up? I always say, that we shouldn't want a candidate or president who is "just like me" because I am in no way prepared to be president. If I were in your position, looking out at faces of hundreds of thousands of Americans with all their dreams of change reflecting back at you, I'd be terrified.
If you are elected, won't everything change? No longer Barack Obama, or Senator Obama - you'll be President Barack Obama, a man for the history books. I can't imagine how strange that transition would be. You must miss your daughters, miss your alone time, miss the time before you had an entourage of reporters (and bloggers, sorry about this) following your every step, watching every twitch of your facial muscles, weighing every word. Everyone talks about how much ego it takes to run for president - and probably yes, initially, a lot of ego goes into campaigning. But it is clearer to me now as never before, what amount of sacrifice it requires to actually be a public servant, especially to be a good one, an honorable one. Clearly there are perks - but there are also unfathomable responsibilities.
Despite all this, I believe firmly that all our hope is real. It is real and useful and must be redirected to take steps to heal the problems we now face. You said you believe this last night at your rally in Manassas - we need to maintain our fervor for change, no matter what happens tonight and tomorrow. Change, you say, is in all of our hands. I agree, and that is scary too. We believe in change, many of us believe in You - We also must believe in Us.
Your call has brought many many people together this year; God-willing it will bind us together over the coming weeks as we switch over from one single goal - election - to many hundreds of goals aimed at improving our great nation.
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